I’ve been having a rough day. I didn’t sleep well and woke up grumpy and frustrated. After snapping at every other human in my house at least once I finally went back to bed for about 10 minutes so I could start over. It helped, but I still just haven’t been able to feel RIGHT today. We are currently working in our yard, which was suffering from 30 years of neglect. In the past week I have shoveled countless wheelbarrow loads of dirt, and spread miles of topsoil (at least it feels like it). I was also suffering from some “secondary trauma” worrying about a friend who is going through a tough time, and emotionally I was drained.
Then my boys came home. My 9 yr old had his CTR ring stolen today at school and was devastated about it, but I was so busy immersing myself in the internet that I didn’t notice his pain. Until he came in and handed me the only 4$ he has to his name. I was confused till I realized he was paying ME for the CTR ring, because it had been MY old CTR ring, that I had let him borrow (and just let him keep). He was so worried because he knew it was mine! It wasn’t until he burst into tears that I realized I was so caught up in myself that I had failed him in that moment. He climbed up on the bed, and we were quickly joined by my oldest son. We cuddled and we talked, and we were just together. It was a moment of quiet, and peace and silliness all at the same time. And I realized, I need more of that.
Its so easy to get caught up in my own sorrow and my own exhaustion, and usually I find ways to cope with that by reading, browsing Facebook, or the internet, or watching TV. All along the answer to my own frustration was right here, begging for dinner or help with homework. So from now on I am going to stop, drop everything, and cuddle with them a little more often. How do you find your moments to cuddle?